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  • Kirsty Kelly

Time Without My Daughter



I've written before about parenting with your ex partner beyond divorce but what is it like when you're little one is with their other parent.


In a legal sense I am my daughters primary career, now that does not mean that my ex husband is any less of a parent than I am. All it means is that on the paperwork for the divorce my address is down as my daughters home address.


In reality my daughter is with me more than anyone else, and even before my marriage ended she was my little shadow. And the change in family life hasn't changed that in the slightest.


So what is it like when my little shadow is at her dads?


To be honest the first weekend was hell, I really struggled not having my girl with me. In fact I'll admit I messaged my ex to see how our daughter was doing. Thankfully he was very understanding and didn't make me feel bad for needing to know our daughter was okay.


Overtime I adjusted to my daughter not being with me all the time, and even have learnt to embrace my time alone. It's a chance for me to not only catch up on anything housework or business wise that I've not accomplished during the week. But also for me to have sometime to myself to relax.


Almost two years on from marriage ending and 16 months of my daughter going to her dads on a Friday night and staying with him until Monday morning, we're in a wee routine.


However, the times I do still find hard is when she goes to her dad's for a full week during school holidays. Although I often enjoy the first extra day to myself after that I really miss my shadow. It's like going about with my right arm missing.


So how do I cope when I'm missing my little girl, well I remind myself that she's having fun with her dad and that it is good for her to have a good relationship with her dad. Also it's healthy for my relationship with my daughter for us to spend time apart.


So if you find yourself in a similar situation I can assure you it does get easier and remember it's (normally) good for your child to spend time with their other parent. Although I appreciate this may not be the case for all.

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  • Kirsty Kelly Photography
  • Kirsty Kelly Photography
  • Kirsty Kelly Photography

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